Saturday, March 6, 2010

Don't Sweat The Shoulds

Oftentimes we're so caught up in regret and resistance that we miss opportunities for positive change. We mentally get so bogged down in what we think someone or something should or shouldn't be that we diminish our ability to resolve what is. People and situations are just what they are, and fretting over the shoulds won't change what is. Perhaps a change of focus could open new doors and make life a little easier.

Have you ever had thoughts like, He shouldn't do that, I never should have made that choice, They shouldn't treat me this way, I shouldn't have to do this, or whatever other shoulds you can conjure up? How much time do you spend on these dead-end thoughts? It would be nice if everything were as it should be, but we live in a complex world with new challenges everyday. And where we set our mind today determines where we will be tomorrow.

When I get stuck in shoulds, I remember when someone told me it's a waste of time to fret over what should be. We can only deal with what is. Never mind whether something is right or wrong, fair or unfair, or why it's that way.

We can't change another person or the past, but we can accept what is now and focus on ways to create a better scenario. That may mean changing what we can, making necessary changes in ourself or even learning to live with what we can't change, while we search for whatever good might be in it. It's certainly worth a different approach to reduce stress that comes with dwelling on how it should be. Who knows? With a new approach, it might turn out better than you would expect.

I wish you visions of peace.

Marilyn

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