Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Why Conform?

Each choice we make is motivated by laws, cultural mores and just what's in our own head. The laws and mores pretty much decide what we can and can't do, but while we have free will in most other decisions, we tend to conform to what's expected by others. In this way, we create our own obstacles to what we want to have, be or do. Why do you think we listen more to others opinions than to our own inner voice? Wouldn't it be nice to have it the way you want it?

There are always people out there who will tell you how you should live your life, of course according to their standards. Could it be you fear criticism, embarrassment, confrontation, guilt, not measuring up, being different? What's the obstacle you've set up inside yourself?

People have said to me: Everybody has a cell phone. You should have one. I don't want one; Everybody puts cream and sugar in coffee. You drink yours black? Yes; Why don't you wear bright colors? Everybody else does. I like muted colors; Everybody reads a magazine from front to back. I prefer back to front. And so on and so on. I think I'll start asking people who this everybody is they keep talking about and how they got to be an authority on my life.

I remember one time my mother and I were in the airport waiting for our flight. She stood up and began staring at some other passengers, and I suggested she sit down and stop staring. She defiantly put her hands on her hips and said, "I'm old now. I can do whatever I want." While I still feel she shouldn't have made other people uncomfortable, that statement jarred a question in me. Why must we wait until we're old to give ourselves permission to be who we are? What's wrong with just being ourselves and ignore what those everybodys think? Most of our idiosyncrasies are harmless anyway, and no one's opinion can change who we are. If their standards don't fit, we can choose not to adopt them, and this doesn't make us less in any way. Besides, sometimes it feels good to be different...in a kind of smug way.

So wear your bedroom slippers to the ice cream shop and enjoy your pistachio ice cream soda while you smile at everybody with their vanilla, chocolate or strawberry sodas. It's fun, and above all you're being wonderful, different you.

You're pretty special. So live and enjoy who you are.

Marilyn

1 comment:

  1. 與朋友在一起,分擔的痛苦是減半的痛苦,分享的快樂是加倍的快樂。 ............................................................

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