Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Lonely vs Alone

To transform the emptiness of loneliness to the fullness of aloneness, ah, that is the secret of life. Sunita Khosla

We all know what loneliness feels like. But each of us perceives this emotion and feelings that go with it in our own unique way. Some even equate being alone with loneliness. But the two are different. Loneliness is suffering, while solitude of itself is simply being alone and need not create loneliness. It may sound strange, but both can offer opportunities for self-discovery and personal growth.

Loneliness involves a sense of loss and/or separation, and may come from many sources: loss of a loved one, divorce, the empty nest, illness, isolation, rejection, loss of a job, retirement, etc. Maybe you've always been lonely, and you don't know why. It just feels like a piece of your heart is missing. For some people, loneliness is the result of childhood experiences that left them feeling unloved and alone.

If you feel lonely, have you ever asked yourself why? What is there in your life, even on the deepest level, that you've never resolved? When you miss someone or something that's no longer in your life, it's normal to go through the painful separation, but the need is there to eventually pass through this time and open your heart to newness in your life.

We live in two worlds, the inner and the outer, and we were created to experience both in our human condition. But we need awareness and understanding to grow and find peace in both areas. The human spirit needs something greater than self. Our life must be meaningful and count for something. And that life is ever moving and changing. We need to know our oneness with all others and that we belong, not to serve as crutches, but to bless each other.

Change must come from within. Accept your loneliness and where you are now. Then it's no longer your enemy, but a possible step to something new and wonderful. Loneliness can bring a letting go of old ways and limiting beliefs. It can lead to freedom and purpose. It can transform your life. You are not that wounded child you feel inside. Understanding what a glorious creation you are, in spite of your losses, can leave you free to experience the love, joy and peace that have always been yours to claim.

With great intention, create and use time alone to go within and communicate with Spirit--you have never been separated from this inner love and comfort. Then reach out to others with love from your heart. Loneliness will have nowhere to live, and will leave you.

I wish you a peaceful heart.


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