Wednesday, July 6, 2011

The Best Laid Plans Etc

It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are. Clive James

Hello. Hello. I'm still here. I didn't go anywhere. I've just been wrestling with my computer that quickly showed me who's boss in our relationship. Two weeks ago, I wanted to include a picture with my post, which seemed like a good idea at the time. (Well, what can you expect? Old ladies need something in their life too, so this picture was to be "It" for me) Well, I followed the written directions from a friend who's a computer wizard, but I totally screwed up the project. The picture was too large and in the wrong place. Then when I clicked something else the picture disappeared. With a few choice words, I projected my frustration onto my computer, and in malicious retaliation, it bellied up and died. Stone dead for 10 days until another friend coaxed it into forgiveness and acceptable performance.

I can't help it if I'm semi computer illiterate. I'm pretty good at a lot of things, but computer stuff isn't one of them. My cranberry salad is a hit at family gatherings, and I make my own delicious gluten-free cookies. And years ago when I worked in the jail as a Mental Health Counselor, a violent schizophrenic was no problem for me. The officers used to call me to handle those situations. And I'm only 5ft 1in tall. Then when I was a bar waitress on an Air Force Base in Texas, I knew how to deal with guys who'd had too much to drink. There's a method to that, and I learned quickly. When I lived in Las Vegas, I went to the desert and learned to shoot a gun. I was pretty good at it, but the gun scared me, so I got rid of it. I also remember the time I was alone in a London, England airport, and didn't know how to get my two huge suitcases from the first floor to the second floor to change planes. You'd think the airline would have done that for me. I felt pretty stupid, but I finally figured that one out. There are carts to do that. Duh!

In my later years, I actually wrote a book, Silent Echoes, that was published last year. It's a memoir, but it has lots of adventures in it. I reveal some of my stupid times, but in the long run, I had sense enough to survive. So I have to ask myself why the computer is such a mystery to me. I understand what makes people tick, and they fascinate me. But the computer is like a giant stranger hovering over me, chiding me, because I don't understand that piece of solid mass with a mind of its own.

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor, and we are funny to God. Bill Cosby.

I finally decided that if this computer and I have a future together, I'll have to lighten up and make some concessions, because I know there will be no such thing on the part of the computer. That ego will never give an inch. So I will practice patience, and only in extreme anger will I reveal that other models are available.

Be kind to your computer. You may still need it.


1 comment:

  1. I like the "lightness" of this post. I especially love the quotes you find. It was fun seeing everyone again today. No wonder I've felt so disconnected lately - I've missed the stabilizing energy of the group.