Wednesday, April 17, 2013

It's Okay To Receive

Human life runs its course in the metamorphosis between receiving and giving. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

During my whole life receiving has been a problem for me. I was taught that giving is the right thing to do, but receiving is selfish. So I've tried to be a giving person. I even chose a giving profession as a psychotherapist. But receiving has always left discomfort in the pit of my stomach. Asking for something from another person was termed bothering them. Oh, what guilt took over if I bothered anyone. Does any of this sound familiar?

Many people suffer from fear of receiving. We learn such things in childhood, and they remain with us unless we learn the truth, that the Universal law of giving and receiving requires balance. When we neglect either side of this law, we suffer. Takers who don't give lack close connections with others, while those who can't receive can suffer soul burnout and may feel a sense of guilt, shame, unworthiness, greed, all kinds of painful feelings. And life is not as fulfilling as it could and should be.

We tend to think that when we receive something from another person, we are the only one benefiting. But when one gives and another receives, both are blessed. I learned this from my mother many years ago. She lived on social security then. So when she wanted to buy me even a small gift, I refused, thinking I was helping her. Then one time she began crying and said, "Don't you know that when you refuse to accept my gift, you take away the pleasure I would feel in giving?" (She must have forgotten what she taught me when I was a child) That really brought home the law of giving and receiving. So I began accepting her gifts, and I began learning to receive. However, childhood messages are deeply rooted, so when I still feel some discomfort, I work on it.

It's been said that as you give, so shall you receive. But it doesn't always happen that way. I know people who give a lot and receive very little, and they wonder why. When this happens it's because the giver subconsciously has inner blockages to receiving, and this prevents their good from coming to them. The Universe has enough to bless us all, but we must open up to receive our blessings.

We are Divine enough to ask, and we are important enough to receive. Wayne Dyer

There are ways to overcome inner blockages, but it takes some practice.
1. Watch your thoughts and feelings when you're offered something but feel you should not accept. Practice confronting that inner resistance, and affirm your right to receive.
2. Practice giving to yourself first. Treat yourself, even in small ways.
3. Begin accepting small things from others before you get to the big things.
4. Clean out inner and outer clutter, to make room for what you want to come into your life.
5. Learn to ask for what you want, even if it feels uncomfortable.

Using the law of giving and receiving promotes physical, mental and spiritual well-being, and we and the world are blessed. Give to others, and open your mind and heart to receiving what the Universe has for you. And enjoy the peace you feel from both.



  1. Thank you for this post. It really came at a great time for me!

  2. Marilyn, I can so relate to this post. For me giving is fun, receiving is painful. Your tips for changing are good ones.

  3. Thank you Trent and Mary for your comments. I'm glad you found something helpful. I'm still working on the receiving thing. I guess we're all a work in progress. One step at a time.