Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Turn Resistance To Welcome Resolution

Will I ever be free from all the problems, all the to-do stuff day after day? Hide from my nagging boss; stretch my money to pay the bills; get that noise in my car fixed; ease that pain in my neck; get that critical neighbor off my back. Too much? You bet.

Is any of that familiar to you? If so, that's the world you live in, and it's strangling the essence of who you are. You try everything you know to resolve all those nagging issues, but the more you push, the bigger they get, and they refuse to move. You're a nice person. You do the best you can. But it's draining, and you want it to stop. So what's really going on?

Cause of persistence: You're in a state of resistance. That's what's going on. Resistance breeds persistence, the cause of a lot of your pain. The more you focus on a problem and emotionally push against it with frustration, impatience, and anxiety, the more power you give it over you. And it won't budge. Our minds are more powerful than we realize. Every thought produces energy, and a mental and emotional state of resistance is like pouring coal into a furnace instead of allowing the fire to die out.

The more something upsets you, the more it is meant for you. When it no longer upsets you, it is no longer needed because the lesson is complete.  Bryant McGill

Your life is your journey, and hopefully you'll learn and grow with many lessons along the way. All those problems in your life are part of your journey, and they need attention. But dwelling on a problem in a state of resistance isn't the answer.

Solution: When a problem enters your life, stop trying to push against it. Let it be, and accept its presence while you're doing what you can to resolve it. This doesn't mean giving in without a fight, but take your fight to the solution--not the problem.
     1. Clarify your problem. Be specific. What exactly do you have to resolve?
     2. Approach your problem mentally, but practice emotional detachment. Imagine your problem as    
         separate from your emotions. You're not your problem. Your mission is to resolve the problem, not
         get emotionally involved with resistance.
     3. Make a list--even if list making isn't your thing. List various ways to approach and resolve the
     4. Protect your boundaries. You may have to defend your needs where others are involved, or decide
         how far you're willing to go with the situation, etc.
     5. Inner guidance. Ask and listen to your inner Voice for guidance. And ask what lesson you need to
         learn from the situation for your personal growth.

Not all situations are solvable. Sometimes we have to live with something we don't want. But resistance will only cause unnecessary suffering. Work on accepting that situation, and learn coping skills without resistance. Then the mountain won't seem so high, and you can find some joy in spite of it. Or maybe because of it.

This reminds me of a story. Two little farm boys were playing in a hay loft and fell to the ground, landing in a pile of manure. Mama heard their screams, and ordered them out of the manure pile. One came out, but the other just began digging around in the manure. Mama yelled, "What are you doing? Get out of there." The little boy kept digging and yelled back, "No, Mama. With all this manure, there's gotta be a pony in here somewhere."

So when you're confronted with situations in your life that need your attention, tackle them with acceptance, but without resistance or emotional attachment. Your journey is a series of glider rides and river rapids. Enjoy the rides, and concentrate on the paddles when the rapids get big. And look for the pony. There's one in there somewhere. And your lesson may be as simple as learning to peacefully resolve problems.

I wish you many happy ponies.


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