Tuesday, June 9, 2015
Recognizing And Healing Your Loneliness
It's ironic...the subject I chose for today's blog post. Last night I lost my brother. He passed away and left a hole in my heart that will need to heal. It's never easy, but now I'll have to experience my loneliness, let it be for awhile, and then let it go. I love you, my brother, and I'll miss you always.
To transform the emptiness of loneliness to the fullness of aloneness. Ah, that is the secret of life. Sunita Khosla
We all know what loneliness feels like. But each of us perceives this emotion in our own unique way. Some even equate loneliness with being alone. But the two are different. Loneliness is suffering, while solitude of itself is simply being alone and need not create loneliness. It may sound strange, but both can offer opportunities for self-discovery and personal growth.
Loneliness involves a sense of loss and/or separation, and may come from many sources; loss of a loved one, divorce, the empty nest, illness, isolation, rejection, loss of a job, retirement, etc. Maybe you've always been lonely, and you don't know why. It just feels like a piece of your heart is missing. For some people, loneliness is the result of a childhood experience that left them feeling unloved and alone.
When I was 6 years old, my father died, and it left a hole in my heart that was filled with loneliness. For most of my life, I suspected that was where my loneliness came from and I fought it, even though I knew that resisting something strengthens its presence. Then a couple years ago, I was so tired of the fight, I just let it be and looked for a way to let it go. That's when I found an EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) practitioner who helped me release it. I will always miss my father, but I no longer feel that deep pain I lived with for so many years. from this experience my inner child learned that she's okay with her daddy's arms around her, and I became freer to be me.
We live in two worlds, the inner and the outer, and we can find help in the outer. But the letting go must ultimately come from within. Accept your loneliness as where you are now. Then it's no longer your enemy, but a possible step to something new and wonderful. Loneliness can bring a letting go of old ways and limiting beliefs; it can lead to freedom and purpose; and it can be used to transform your life.
Sometimes when a person is lonely, they're afraid to be alone. But alone time can help free you from loneliness. It can be a time to get to know yourself better, and find ways to release your loneliness. Give yourself what alone time you need.
1. Determine the reason for your loneliness. What loss have you experienced in your life? Tangible or intangible? Is it from your childhood? When did it happen?
2. It's important to allow yourself to grieve your loss and accept, yes accept, where you are now. The pain may be deep, but give it the time you need to feel your feelings. Don't fight loneliness. Let it be for now.
3. When you're ready to release the loneliness, use intention with commitment. Find help in the outer and ways within to let it go. Talk to your loneliness, tell it how you feel, give it permission to leave. Bless it with peace, and release it.
4. Ask yourself what you can learn from this experience. How can you grow from it?
5. Use this time alone to go within and communicate with Spirit--you have never been separated from this inner love and comfort. Then reach out to others with love from your heart. Loneliness will have nowhere to live, and it will leave you.
You are not that wounded child you feel inside. Understanding what a glorious creation you are, in spite of your losses from whatever source, can leave you free to experience the love, joy, and peace that have always been yours to claim.
you love and peace in your heart.