Monday, November 16, 2015

Where Do You Go When You Need Understanding And Compassion?



Life promises to give us a variety of experiences, and it certainly keeps its promise. Just when we think we're sailing downhill, a cloud fills our path, and we're hoping for a miracle. Maybe most of the time, we're able to cope and move on, but there are times when we're emotionally bogged down and need help climbing out.

You already know how to solve your problem, but you're hurting, and you don't have the emotional strength to move ahead. Right now you need support to know you're not alone--you're loved--you matter. You need help.

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Leo Buscaglia

Family and friends may respond with either pity or compassion. Both can feel sorrow, but one will help and the other won't. Pity is a more passive response. It doesn't require becoming emotionally involved with understanding or feeling your feelings. And it doesn't improve a situation. You may hear people say, "C'mon. Smile. It's not that bad," or "Count your blessings," or "I had the same thing happen to me, and I got over it." Well, that is them, and you are you. And they don't get it.

Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive. Dalai Lama.

In excerpts from an article by Tris Thorp, Master Educator at the Chopra Center for Wellbeing, she says, "Compassion has the ability to connect and heal. To actually feel someone's pain is to be empathetic and to be passionate to help that person create a different experience. When you look upon those in need with compassionate eyes, you can act as a support or lend a helping hand if needed. Showing compassion means being there for another without judgment--being a pillar next to which they can stand."

                                                
 Sometimes all we ask is that our words be heard and our feelings be validated. Randi G Fine

Have you ever gone to someone for help and left feeling even more empty and alone? Years ago, I was going through a hard time, and I went to family members for emotional support. Their response was telling me what to do and venting their own problems. They hadn't heard anything I said, my pain, my feelings, etc. So I talked with my Minister about it, and she said we all have gifts--something we do well--but we don't all have the same gift. And not everyone knows how to listen, understand, and support with love and kindness.

She said think about what gifts the people in your life have, so you'll know who can share your feelings and give you the understanding and compassion you need ... and who can't. Then when you're going through the pain of a difficult situation, go only where you know you'll be supported, and go to others for other needs. But love all of them anyway, and give your own gift freely with love.

Well, a couple years ago an old patient of mine said all this in just a few words. She said, "You can't get bread from a hardware store." How profound. Now I know who's a hardware store and who has the bread (support). So I know where to go when I need understanding and compassion.

As we work to create light for others, we naturally light our own way. Mary Anne Radmacher

There are many kind people who have difficulty dealing with another person's pain. And if you're one of those, look at your own life and discover your gift. You may not be aware of what you would call a gift, but you do have one--something you do well. And you can use your gift to put some light in someone's life. When just talking with someone, listen to their words and hear with your heart. Give your gift with a smile, and you both will be blessed. And when you're hurting and need help, look for the bread store. :-)

I wish you blessings whether giving or receiving.


Marilyn

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