Monday, January 30, 2017

How To Discover Who You Truly Are And Live In Harmony With Yourself. Part 2. Taming Your Ego

The spirit is the true self, not the physical figure which can be pointed out by your finger. Cicero

We generally think of ourselves as having one identity and that personality and individuality are the same entity. But they are quite different. Personality is our ego self, the reality we created with false beliefs while growing up. This external changeable part of us is influenced by the environment, and we cultivate personality by listening to voices outside of ourselves. Individuality is the inner or real self that never changes its identity, and it expresses spiritual qualities. We cultivate our individuality by listening to the still small voice inside and following it. Therefore personality is the sum total of all your changing opinions about yourself. And individuality is your Self.

Ideally our 2 parts, the ego self and true self, will function together in harmony and peace, and the ego will express in our material world who we truly are. But many people believe their personality is who they are, and this is who they identify with. Even those who know better sometimes have difficulty living from their true self. But if we want to live authentically, we must gradually transform our reality. This transformation is our spiritual journey back to our spiritual source.

What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself. Abraham H. Maslow

Transformation to decrease negativity in your life and develop more positive and fulfilling live from your true self...will take increased awareness and understanding of both your personality and your individuality. You experience both selves, but you must pay attention and become aware of your thoughts, feelings, and behavior patterns in order to distinguish one self from the other.

Step back and become the observer. At first, just practice observing and learn to recognize the impatient, demanding voice of your ego and the patient, loving voice of your true self. are they different, how do they feel, what is each saying to me with words, feelings, and actions, what does each want for me? Etc. Get to know them as you've never known them before. And as you become familiar with each one, learn to identify them with, "This is ego, or this is me, my true self." With this awareness, you can learn ways to decrease expression of your ego personality and increase expression of your true self individuality. When you see the bigger picture, you see with the eyes of the soul.

Ego is just like dust in the eyes. Without clearing the dust, you can't see anything clearly. So clear the ego and see the world. Unknown

Even with all its troublesome ways, the ego self is not our enemy. It's like a misguided child who needs guidance and healing to think and behave in ways to benefit the whole person. Ego feels fearful and insecure, and uses deception and control to survive. So reassure it you're not trying to eliminate it, but to understand and incorporate its valuable traits into your life in positive ways. Your ego self is strong and resourceful, and you can teach it to listen to the voice of truth and lead you in choices that redirect your life in positive ways instead of disruptive ways of the past.

Every experience of love, bliss, belonging, inspiration and insight provides a stepping stone back to your true self. Deepak Chopra

The ego wants control and will resist change, but it can be tamed and integrated as a positive part of the whole person. And once you learn to identify the ego state as it arises, you have the power to allow your true self to express in its place. As you go through each day dealing with your ego self, practice expressing more of your true self's divine qualities of love, kindness, understanding, and compassion. As these qualities increase, negative ego will lose its need to control, and will decrease. And positive changes will come.

Transformation is a lifetime endeavor, but as we begin to know ourselves as souls, we gradually release attachment to our false identity, and we embrace our wholeness. As our ego self and true self function together in harmony, our life will have deeper meaning and will reflect the love and peace we long for.

I wish you happiness as You.


Tuesday, January 24, 2017

How To Discover Who You Truly Are And Live In Harmony With Yourself. Part 1 Ego vs Real Self

Two people have been living in you all your life. One is the ego, garrulous, demanding, hysterical, calculating; the other is the hidden spiritual being, whose still voice is wisdom you have only rarely heard or attended to--you have uncovered in yourself your own wise guide. Sogyal Rinpoche

On our journey through life we take much for granted, with little note of who and what we are as people. But we are complex creatures, and for centuries Scholars and Theologians have sought to explain us physically and metaphysically...physical, ego, spiritual, soul, divine, conscious, subconscious, superconscious, and so on...with varied opinions as to who and what we are. I disagree with some, and you may disagree with me. So we each accept what feels right to us.

It's not necessary to know all of our complexities in order to live in harmony with our ego and true self. But it is important to understand these two parts of ourselves, how they relate to each other, and how they can work together for our common good. We are innately a spiritual being, or true self, expressing in a human body. But as children we accept negative feedback from our environment and deny our true self with false beliefs about who we are. And we create an ego identity that becomes an active part of our personality.

The ego is the false self born out of fear and defensiveness. John O'Donohue

With this ego identity we think, feel, and act in ways that interfere with our ability to be happy. We may experience the illusion of separation and limitation, or be driven into destructive habits for a false sense of worth, or feel vulnerable, and use control to protect ourselves. We may even assume a false grandiose self-image to cover feelings of insecurity, regret, guilt, etc. And our every thought automatically goes into our subconscious and finds expression in  our life, positive and negative. We're not aware of all that's in there, but we live our life based on its content.

Be guided by spirit and not driven by ego. Allison

When you think about who and what you are, you may include the negative in your self-image...beliefs like ugly, stupid, clumsy, not as good as, lacking wisdom, etc. But you are none of that nonsense. That's just what ego is saying you are. And ego is mistaken. In truth, you are that spiritual being with divine qualities. And your true self is completely aware of your true nature with unwavering knowledge that you're not anything that limits the expression of your spiritual self. It involves the love and peace you long for, and always promotes union instead of separation.

If we live wholly in the consciousness that personality has built up, we're ruled by the carnal mind, the ego self. But wisdom from our true self wants to flow through our ego self and be expressed in our life. We're meant to learn, grow, and evolve spiritually on our journey. And it's been said the ego should be the servant, not the master. So our mind, thus our ego, must be trained to work with our true self to accomplish our true mission.

Your true Self never doubts. Your false self does so you can see and identify who you are and who you are not. Roxana Jones

The ego wants control and resists change. But it can be tamed, and its qualities can be made to work for our benefit. It is strong, clever, and resourceful, and being a tempter, it presents opportunities for us to make valuable choices that can redirect us in positive ways along our path. If we're to find the love and peace we long for, our ego must learn to stop and listen to the voice of truth inside. And this must involve teaching your ego self who you truly are--a spiritual being with divine qualities. 

Understanding and awareness are the first steps to releasing ego and becoming more of your true self. Next week I'll talk about ways to identify and correct your ego's misguided tools for living.

Be happy.


Monday, January 16, 2017

Finding Yourself

Good evening, everyone. Yes, I'm a night person, and ordinarily I'd be creating a message perhaps to touch your mind and heart with helpful information on your journey. But due to a current health challenge, I've not been up to writing a full contribution this week. So I'm offering a few short poems I wrote that may at least bring some useful food for thought. And by the way, I would enjoy some comments to share your thoughts, positive or negative. We gain pleasure from the positive, and we learn from the negative. Thank you for both.

We've been through the mill,
Up and down the hill.
We've known the pain and sorrow.
But never ever forget
The sun's gonna shine tomorrow.
We are survivors

Lord, help me make rainbows
Instead of cloudy days.
Fill my life with hope and joy,
And love in all my ways.
Help me see the truth of me,
And those whose lives I share,
To know the value of their presence,
To let them know I care.

I run away and search out there.
I keep looking for the prize
To find me in another's face,
In someone's else's eyes.
But God speaks to me in quiet times.
His voice comes in so clear.
Not so much in spoken words,
But feelings that I hear.
He tells me things about myself,
The truth I need to see.
And then I know the years have been
My journey to find me.
So there comes a time when new gets old,
And I know it's not out there.
I have to look inside myself,
For I'm the one who has to care.

Find your beautiful self, and love every inch of you. There's no one else like you in the universe, and there's much you've yet to discover. I wish you much happiness on your journey.


Monday, January 9, 2017

Chaos Is Everywhere. How To Survive And Save Your Sanity

The World Book Encyclopedia describes chaos as great confusion and complete disorder. And right now, today, we live in a world consumed by chaos with lawlessness, unrestraint, and unaccountability. We  have adopted an Us and Them mentality where people are consumed with hate for others unlike themselves. And this mentality reaches everyone on earth at every level...nation against nation, group against group, brother against brother. This chaotic atmosphere disrupts every aspect of our lives.

I sometimes wonder how we got here to this place of such unrest. Could it be that while we slept, the Us and Them mentality, obsessed with power and control, expressed like a run-away train saying, "Climb aboard and join us on this chaotic ride to hell?" And we forgot who we are?

I lived through the Great Depression, hot and cold wars, protests in the streets, man's wars against humanity, cruel treatment of certain groups of people, and the list goes on. But in all my years, I've never experienced anything reaching the depths of the inhumane situations filled with hate that we see today. It's everywhere. And I cry, because I remember when, in spite of the chaos, there was so much good to bathe our wounds in the bad times. And I miss that.

During the Depression years, when I was 6 years old, my father died, and my mother, my 2 brothers, and I moved to Detroit. We lived in an apartment house with tenants from different countries...Poland, Ireland, Italy, Spain, and the Netherlands. During the day we all left our doors open, and I loved to sneak by each door and listen to conversations I didn't understand and smell foods I'd never tasted. In spite of our differences, we could all speak English and became like a family helping each other through the hard times. I knew the ways in which we were different, but I loved the ways in which we were one. How did we lose our oneness and become Us and Them?

In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you. Deepak Chopra

I remember another experience that taught me about people unlike myself. When I started school, I was the kid with the southern accent, and everyday I encountered a group of African American children who waited and beat me up on my way home from school. My mother's complaints to the school Principal brought no help. So she created a pile of snowballs, hid behind a tree, and threw like crazy. But she also taught me not to make the color of their skin an issue. Their mama's just needed to teach them better. As time passed, we became friends. And I learned about oneness.

Most people believe we are created by God. And some believe that God favors the Us group more than the Them group. But I can't believe the God I know would look at His beautiful creations and separate us into categories judging one group better than another. Even our constitution says we are all created equal. This is who we are, and to quiet the chaos, this is what we need to express in our lives.

In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order. Carl Jung

No matter how our world appears now, order exists within the disorder if we're willing to find and express it. Imagine dumping out a jigsaw puzzle, and pieces fall in confusion and disorder on the table. But within that chaos, there's a beautiful country scene with total clarity and order. You just have to fit the pieces together in an orderly way, and the chaos disappears. This process can manifest in the world if we resign from the Us and Them mentality and begin picking up the pieces of our life.

Keep stillness within and acknowledge the beauty of who you are, part of a tapestry woven in love. Within each of us is clarity and order...not the picture we see in our chaotic world. And the unifying pattern lies in the hearts of all people. We are interconnected, and with loving outstretched arms of brotherhood and sisterhood, we have the power to melt the chaos that divides us. Projecting your love into the world may seem small, but you are a part of the world, and your love can affect the whole. Let the light of love shine within you, and the world will find peace.

I wish love in a peaceful world.


Monday, January 2, 2017

What Part Of Your Life Will You Take With You This Year? Think About It.

Close some doors. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because they no longer lead somewhere. Unknown

This time of year there's talk about new years resolutions...and that's fine. But there's a lot more to creating the kind of year you want than resolutions. Without clear direction you will probably spend a lot of time this year in last years status quo. So you'll need to make some sound choices as you enter this year. And it's important to create the kind of energy you need to make those choices.

With each life situation, positive and negative, we take with us the energy, the tone, the spirit from the event as we experienced it. And without conscious consideration, we can lose touch with the good times and too often revisit the painful ones. But we always have power to dilute or release the painful energy and take the good energy with us. Whatever you take with you into the coming year will greatly influence your life as you move along. So it's important to sift out the essence of past events so you're clear on what to take with you and what to leave behind. You don't need negative energy holding you back when you want to move forward in positive ways.

Good times become good memories, and bad times become good lessons. Unknown

Maybe you can't erase a painful memory, but you can quiet the painful tone of your experience, come to peace with it, or release it altogether. And sometimes something good can come out of the experience. For many years I lived with serious depression, and cursed each morning I awoke with the same feelings. But after 2 1/2 years of therapy, I chose to leave the pain behind and take with me the lessons I'd learned. I went back to school and worked in the mental health field where I understood my patient's pain. And I was grateful for those depressed years as preparation for what I was meant to do.

No matter how well we prepare for each day, we sometimes hit a bump in the road and slip into an "ain't it awful" mood. Then revisiting the spirit of our good experiences can move us forward instead of sinking where we might go otherwise. But for this pattern to become a part of your life, it's necessary to develop more awareness of situations and how you generally respond to them.

Notice how your react, how you think--chronologically, haphazardly, in the bathtub, in nature, biting your nails, listening to music? What makes you cry? What makes you laugh? Who are you, warts and all? And notice what pushes your buttons. The better you know yourself, the better you know what makes you happy and what doesn't...and the better you know what to release and what to take with you into this year. Think about it in terms of the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual part of your life. All of these parts are interconnected, because they're all you. But there are times when you function mainly in one part of you or another in different situations. And these times may stand out.

Memories are the key not to the past, but to the future. Corrie Ten Boom 

Think back over your life. Is there some pain you carry with you...past mistakes, regrets, losses, hurts? Explore each situation and observe your thoughts and feelings. Where do you feel the pain? Identify and clarify the energy, the tone, the spirit involved. Now choose to either work on them,
learn from them, and/or let them go. If you choose to release them, visualization is a powerful tool. Sit quietly and imagine a big balloon any color you want. Now create a shape, texture and color for what you want to release, dump it into the balloon, seal the balloon and allow it to float up into the sky. And tell it goodbye with an inner sense of release and gratitude.

Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable. Mary Oliver

Use the same technique to revisit the good times in your life and identify the essence in those events. Make your resolutions, but take the energy, tone, and spirit of the good in your past...the love, peace, joy, laughter, etc...with you into the new year to enhance your future. What you create today becomes your tomorrow.

I wish you many happy tomorrows.